Finding Connection Across Distances While Studying Abroad in Seville, Spain
Expectations vs. Reality
When I first arrived in Seville, I expected to be overwhelmed with excitement all the time. I imagined international trips every weekend and staying up until 3am laughing with my new best friends every night. What I did not expect was how disconnected I could feel from my life at home. Watching all of my friends and family continue with familiar routines felt like they were living a normal life without me. I longed to be with them and found it hard to enjoy the excitement of living the dream in Europe. Sometimes, distance feels much greater emotionally rather than physically.
Fear of Missing Out
Studying abroad was an impulse decision. I am not very good at stepping outside my comfort zone, and making new friends has never come naturally to me. I hoped that forcing myself into new experiences would fix the problem and leave me with an entirely new outlook on life.
What I did not know was how isolating it could be at first. While I was busy finding my new routines and my place, life at home seemed to be thriving. Everyone moved on with their lives, and the texts and calls became less frequent. One of the hardest parts was accepting that putting yourself into new situations does not automatically lead to new connections for you. Lots of people in my program came with their friends, but I came in knowing no one. I realized that I had taken advantage of the small moments, like sitting out with friends at Starbucks on campus and family dinner nights. I started to feel guilty about being homesick while I had the amazing opportunity to study abroad that many people dream of.
My roommate and now best friend, Lauren, and I with the Christmas lights in Seville.
Learning to Stay Connected
As time went on, I learned to stop looking at physical distance as an obstacle. Even though relationships look different when you live all the way across the world, it does not mean that they are worth any less than they used to be. My two worlds should not be competing against each other; they should be celebrated together.
I began to appreciate the short phone calls with my friends and family to update them on all the exciting journeys I had been taking. My parents and I decided to send one photo per day to keep each other in the loop when we did not have time to give full debriefs of what had been going on. Large time zones can be difficult to navigate, but they are completely manageable if you find what works for you. My friends and I would carve out specific times of the day that worked best for us so we could talk about all of the traveling I had been doing and what had been going on at home. Finding new routines helped me stay grounded, and I realized that no one had been replaced. Instead, friends and family served as a support system that helped me get through the toughest times abroad.
My two roommates and now best friends, Lauren and Siena, and I at the Spanish Steps in Rome.
My two roommates and now best friends, Lauren and Siena, our friend, Lizzie, and I at Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany.
Finding Home With Quique
One of the most important people in my life while I was abroad was my host dad, Quique. I lived in a hybrid home situation where my host dad would only come six nights a week to cook dinner, clean, and do laundry. Every night, Quique sat down with us and asked us about our days. He took the time to get to know us personally, even though there was a language barrier.
Quique made Seville feel like home. He was available to answer any questions or give us recommendations on anything we asked for. We learned all about the Sevillian culture and current Spanish events from him. When we had assignments in class to interview locals, he was the first to volunteer. He was so genuine and was another source of support when I needed it most. I was at a time in my life when I felt lost and lonely, but Quique reminded me that you can feel at home anywhere when you are surrounded by the right people.
A picture of Quique, my host dad, and me on the last night of being in Seville.
The Lessons I Learned
Studying abroad taught me that being close to people does not always mean being physically near them. It did not magically fix my problems like I thought it would, but it showed me how to maintain important relationships while leaving room for new ones. If you spend all of your time worrying about how life at home goes on without you, you miss the amazing new opportunities right in front of you.
My two roommates and now best friends, Lauren and Siena, and I at the top of the hike, Caminito Del Rey in Málaga.
My biggest piece of advice would be not to feel guilty for missing home. It is healthy and normal to be homesick and feel left out. Finding that balance between preserving connections at home while embracing the amazing place you get to explore is the perfect way to enjoy your time. Studying abroad was the best decision I ever made, and now I come home not only with memories I will never forget, but an entirely new family that I will always carry with me.
This post was written by Kendra Chung, an Alumni Ambassador from Chapman University who studied abroad in Seville, Spain.
